Sangha Member Post: I’ve been practicing Zen for a number of years now and lots of the little things in life have smoothed out…but NOW I have a BIG, HARD, HONKING, problem. I’m in a big disagreement with someone I’m very close to.
I’ve tried all the normal approaches to make it clear why “I’m right.”
I’ve tried my well-conditioned manipulation techniques…being nice…being hurt…being angry…still no go.
While sitting on the throne of impermanence it hit me. I was looking for meditation to be my non-god god. I wanted it to solve my problems…to bliss them away or make them magically disappear. I got a good chuckle at myself.
Now the problem is still a problem but I’m not looking for a “meditation solution.”
When I sit, if this problem comes up, (and it does because I’m still churning) I recognize the churning as just thoughts…just my thoughts. I observe the separation these thoughts create between me and someone close. I observe the suffering I’m putting myself through. I observe the suffering in our relationship. I observe the strength of the fantasy world of my mind that places me at the center of the universe.
Who knows, I might even try listening.
Namaste from Mark,
Living and smiling the human koan.