There’s a line from Affirming Faith in Mind that says, “When doubts arise, simply say, “not two.” What kind of doubts? Well, our lives bring us to many impasses, situations that feel impossible to find our way through. Emotions that are like a mountain in our way. We doubt the practice, we doubt the teachings, we doubt the teacher. And we doubt our own capacity.
This can be an experience of great suffering that draws forth all of our usual ways of coping with our miseries, and they don’t help. We are caught. Believing our thoughts, turning away, getting angry doesn’t seem sufficient to the task. This is where the instruction, “When doubts arise, simply say, “not two” can offer a helping hand.
Taking refuge in this possibility, remembering that all of this moment, all of these impossibilities, these too are our life and the path. We are not separate from what seems so difficult. When we practice with these moments we ask, “What am I holding onto here that I don’t see? What ‘me’ is caught?” This helps us bring warmth and an open gaze to include all and everything, and everyone, involved, thus restoring us to our wholeness. And when we do, we can rest into the unknown, relax the heart and just take the next best step, into the refuge of “not two.”
Mushin