One of my most deeply rooted, and least helpful, habits was berating myself when I thought I had said or done something “wrong.” At one point I stumbled across a loving-kindness meditation in Ezra Bayda’s Beyond Happiness (see below.) I began launching into the meditation whenever I caught myself starting to beat myself up. It was just long and complicated enough to shift my mind out of “self-denigration mode” and gradually I found myself slipping into self hatred less and less.
Breathing in, dwelling in the heart.
Breathing out, extending loving-kindness to myself, exactly as I am right now.
Breathing in, dwelling in the heart.
Breathing out, there’s no one special to be.
Breathing in, dwelling in the heart.
Breathing out, just Being.