Sangha Member Post:
Buddhism is a practice to awaken us from the “ego trance” of our daily life.
Before I started down the Zen path I had this concept I call “ME”. It seemed obvious. It included an unquestioned, almost romantic, view of my individualism. In fact, I was in love with my individualism.
Some things happened that made me feel great…I wanted as many of those things as I could possibly get.
Some things made me feel bad…I wanted as few of those things as possible…
and I pretty much spent my life seeking the one, avoiding the other and piling on attributes that help distinguish my individualism. Yay!
So what’s the problem? We all do this.
The problem becomes obvious (sometimes painfully) when you start to meditate. You try to quiet your mind. Maybe you count your out-breaths from 1 to 10 to help you focus.
1…2…3…I need to take the car in to get the oil changed…
1…2…3…Why didn’t I get that promotion. I clearly do the best job…
1…2…3…Am I doing this right?…1…2…3…. You get the idea.
Our ego center engages our thinking. It’s as if we have a “petty neurotic thought generator” that bubbles up thought after thought. We live under the impression that we control our thoughts, but it doesn’t take many minutes of meditation to realize how untrue this notion is.
The more we pay attention to the present moment, the more we are aware of these thoughts…
and ironically, the more we are aware of these thoughts the less control they have. The muddy water of our thinking can finally start to settle and we can relax into our true self…no self…the self that no longer strives for individualism…the self that is connected to everything…the self that naturally expresses loving-kindness and compassion from its core…not because we think we should, or because it’s what is expected…it’s the only thing we can do.
Namaste and Friendly Bows _/|\_